THE WORST QUESTION TO ASK A KID!
We post a lot here about developing programs but also spend much of our time invested in being better coaches. So prompted by a comment from Adam Kohlbeck last week I thought it would be nice to revisit this!
I ask this question a lot on workshops! What is the worst question in the world to ask a kid? We all know that asking questions is a key skill in coaching but asking a question that prompts an answer that is unhelpful is a trap we have all fallen into.
For me the worst question is one we use a lot.
Do you understand? How many times have you asked that question? Almost always the answer is “YES!” followed by an action that shows that their understanding of the information you gave was very different. Message sent was not message received! As Adam Kohlbeck stated in his comment “What do you understand?” is so much more useful, or “Can you explain what we are going to do to the person next to you?”
More than anything I want to use this as a reminder that if words can mean different things then seeing the world through different eyes can be so much broader. What is a child’s motivation for playing, how do they see success and failure, how much support do they need, who are they? There are a myriad of questions that we have to ask about who we are coaching and how do they receive the information we are sending.
The #1 mission of a coach is still to understand who we are coaching!
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