IS MARY ATTACKING MY BRAIN CELLS?
Ok, I am that age where you start to name things, my car is called Doris and my GPS has always, always been Mary! Of course she is now on my phone not in the dash (that is Mary Mark I, still there but rarely gets used) but Mary is the one I pull for when we are lost and sometimes shout at when she takes we to the wrong location. (We know it was probably me typing in the wrong address in the first place). But recently I had an odd experience that questioned our relationship and made me ask myself if she has actually been making me dependent and playing mind games with me.
Here is the short version so that we can discuss something meaningful! Had three pick ups to do! Jump the car, car wont start, jump in daughter’s car (who is called Betty by the way), drive off, Mary gets me to local one, then local two then…. my phone dies and Mary is gone!! It’s not my car and my daughter is an apple person (ehhhh) and I am not, no charger!
So here I am with a pick up to do, and address and no directions and realize I have lost, or at least lowered my ability to navigate! More than this I am stressed that I don’t know where I am going! As a child I would marvel at the Legend that is my Dad (named a legend not because he is famous but because he in the only man on planet earth that can cope with my mother with a calm cool exterior) and his ability to know where to go and navigate! Could it be that my father is more skilled than me, heaven forbid 😉
Ok let’s take this to the court!
When we give all the answers to our players we not just taking away their autonomy we are also restricting their opportunity to exercise their brains! We are making them less robust, more anxious and maybe sometimes even less focused!
Learning is supposed to involve making mistakes!
Learning is supposed to be frustrating at times, there are supposed to be periods where your progress plateaus and you wonder if you will ever get off, but keep going! You are supposed to scratch your head, stamp your foot and maybe even once or twice want to (but not) throw your racket!
Our roles as coaches is not to give solutions but help children find them and the adventure is supposed to be the fun part. How many of us go to conferences, or look on social media looking for new drills and quick fixes? Yes they can be some of the tools we use but they are not the holy grail of our work!
Could it be that in the rush to reach the destination at a faster and faster pace in today’s full speed world, we forgot that we were supposed to relish and enjoy the journey, and so our our kids? Climbing a mountain has never been about planting the flag at the top or else mountaineers would just fly up in helicopters!
So before you solve all the problems, give them all the answers and build the proverbial straw house from the three little pigs, step back and ask yourself if you are helping their brains to develop! Are we building environments of exploration, where initiative is encouraged, and mistakes are accepted as part of the natural order without judgement!
By the way, Mary and I are still together, but she takes vacations now and then and on those days, I find my own way!
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